The border between life and death:
The New Year started with a bang, and a day laters, a boom.
Yesterday, a high school friend of mine and of many, Juan "Cisneros" Alvarez passed away from a fatal car crash, driving in the opposite direction on 85 North, heading towards Pleasantdale- an exit 5 minutes from home. Like others, I was shocked. Everything happened too quickly for us to process. I couldn’t believe the news. Two things that most terrified me: car crash and death of a friend fused together.
As I am writing this, I am on the plane, making my way back to Guadalajara, Mexico. Tears filled my face as I think about the tragic accident. The pieces of story is not yet put together , for there were two crashes and we are still de-tangling what happened and why it did. But one thing is certain, tf there was any injustice to his death, we the living ones will avenge for him...
His death made me think of a lot of things- our memories together- from cross-country practice, partying at quinceaneras, volunteering for Atlanta Aids Walk, our run by the Atlanta belt line to going out with the CK crew together. I have a picture of him by my wall back home. Oddly and ominously, his photo is next to Troc, my beloved cousin who died instantly in Vietnam from electric shock at the age of 15. As I looked on my wall, I realized that life becomes painful when the dead fills in your photo wallpaper more than the lives one do.
Death leaves us insightful messages about life. Death also made us at least 10 years older today than we were yesterday. His made me reflect on what makes a life worth living, what my true purpose in life is, and how to approach friends who I keep up everyday and those whom I have been too distance to check upon... Certain things that were important no longer were and things that I wanted to push back came to the forefront.
I end this reflection hoping that family of Cisneros, relatives, friends, teachers and others who were privileged to know Cisneros will find the space and time to properly heal and reflect. Meanwhile, Rest in Peace, Cisneros. We shall always treasure your irreplaceably enriching presence, your one of a kind humor, your friendship, your tenacity, and your precious smile.
